Do I find myself communicating differently with people from
different groups and cultures? Yes, I do, but not because of their cultures or
differences. So, mostly, I would engage in a respectful dialogue with people I
meet for the first time. Depending on their responses, I would then engage
further with them. Most of my encounters with people from other countries are
positive. They are usually willing to answer my “curious” questions.
I am not presently a teacher, so I do not have the
experiences of communicating with children and their families from different
groups and cultures.
Usually, I am open and curious and ask many questions. Most
of the time, people respond positively. I think that I show an interest in
them, but there was one time when someone told me to ask stop asking so many questions.
What I was essentially doing is what Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond (2010) suggested
we do. I actively sought information about her, asked her questions, and
listened for the answers, but did not yet establish common ground. I am not
even sure why she asked me to stop asking questions because to find out I would
need to ask another question!
I know that I communicate differently with my children now
that they are older and in their 20s. Our topics are more adult-like, too. I
like talking with them and their friends because they keep me young. One of
them once told me she appreciated my wisdom. Nothing like an innocuous comment
like that one to make me realize my own reality!
My communication styles have evolved from my youth to today.
I could see where I was once impatient and would have listening issues. I would
multi-task – a phrase that was not coined back then. I would get bored easily.
But today, I am more mindful of each and every person’s wish to be engaged in a
respectful conversation with others. I have had some good supervisors and role
models for listening, and my listening skills have improved as a result.
Beebe et al (2010) said, “A key to accepting others is to
develop a positive attitude of tolerance and acceptance of those who are
different from you.” I feel lucky to have the positive attitude that enables me
to accept others who are not the same as me.
References
Beebe,
S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal
communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
Marla,
ReplyDeleteI love how you mentioned communication with your own children. My children are always telling me it is nice to actually talk to me now instead of being told what to do. I think this a parent mode. The more you guided your children the more they can look back and see what you were doing. I like your post.
Marla- I really related to your comment about communicating differently with your children now that they are in their 20's. I definitely felt a change in my relationship with my parents as I went through my 20's and it went more from child-parent to an adult friend- to adult friend in some ways. Communication was a way to preserve our bond as I traveled through college, moving across the country, buying a home, and now planning a wedding. This relationship is one of my most valued and treasured and it is growing deeper with time. I have to embrace every time we can visit and chat on the phone because it will surely change again <3
ReplyDeleteI am also glad to read you have noticed your own personal evolution with communication over time, thank you for sharing!